Serenity

James Thurber:
Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness.

Preventative and Restorative Measures

I've been mulling over Slate.com's line of the day today, taken from the David Plotz's article Is Jeremiah a Traitor-

"Anyone who's ever been in a bad relationship knows the Doctrine of Pre-emptive Cruelty".

The Doctrine of Pre-emptive Cruelty: You act like a jerk to elicit a reaction from the other party, most notably to bring about a break-up. Frequently done by both men and women, usually subconsciously. See also: passive-aggressive.

I think this line speaks to me so highly because, well, like anyone else, I've been in relationships, and I've practiced the doctrine of pre-emptive cruelty- have for years and got it down to a science. But like I said, I don't really know anyone who doesn't. And it's not even limited to paramours- as a lawyer I encounter it every day at work, both inter-office politics and case strategy. Through the help of a kick in the pants and a lot of time spent leafing through self-help books I've recently come to this conclusion that I do have many tendencies to be the dreaded passive-aggressor, pre-emptively cruel.

For me, I see clearly where it started- it was high school and I just didn't have the courage to break up with my boyfriend at the time, I'll just call him "Erik the Red". Erik the Red had overstayed his welcome in my life, but I still didn't have the heart to, well, break his. So I made him do it, or at least I tried to. There were declarations of love made, and I realize now that puberty makes people do some very strange things... So what did I do? Rather than just sit him down and say listen, it's been a good ride for what it is, but I'm 15 and off to greener pastures, I avoided him, I argued with him, and I made fun of him constantly. And you know what? The break-up took months, and my plan didn't even really work. I still had to break up with him after all my strategic posturing. It was a painfully slow process despite my complete lack of romantic attachment. The relationship lasted about twice as long as it really needed to because I was a wimp.

Do I really need to say how unhealthy and immature this is, or how much extra energy it takes to do? Listen, I know, I know, being pre-emptively cruel is not honest, or assertive, or even time-efficient, and it leaves a bad taste in your mouth. I am still slightly ashamed of my behavior here. And unfortunately I didn't really learn my lesson with Erik the Red. I continued to employ the same methods for years, magically expecting different results.

At some level, it seems like being pre-emptively cruel may be a primal instinct, like how squirrels throw predators off by pretending to burrow nuts when they reall have stashed their nuts already. I mean, I don't think that people learn this behavior, instead they must unlearn it. It is a lot easier to deflect issues than to address them. But unlike squirrels, we also have the tools of rational intellect and self- reflection, so we can also benefit from that...

It is hard to do- to recognize when you actually take issue with something, and address it straight off rather than sneak it in through the backdoor. I'm finally able now to step back and recognize what I'm about to do, but truth be told it's still not easy, but still at the end of the day- it is ultimately faster and easier than the alternative. Sorry, Erik the Red, for what I put you through when we were both 15. And sorry to all the other guinea pigs along the way for what I may have put you through. It's not that I actually thought you were as stupid as I said you were, it was just that I didn't like you anymore, and I didn't know how to say it to your face. :)

It's On!!

Granted last night was the State of the Union, but as far as I am concerned the most pressing issue to discuss right now is the Oscar nominations. I mean, what is left to say about the current state of our union and politics that hasn't already been said. Furthermore, I think some of the nominations touch on the issues brought up last night: fear mongering and propping up the enemy for personal and personal gain, repetitiveness, pomp and circumstance, losing battles, delusional thinking- so let the movies do the talking!

Here are my preliminary thoughts, as I have been very behind in my movie watching. I don't know happened, but I'm kicking my movie watching into high gear here on out. Until the Oscars if you can't reach me, I'm probably at the movies okay?

Best Actor in a Leading Role:
Happy to see that Ryan Gosling is nominated for his brave portrayal of a drug addicted high school teacher in the indie gem Half Nelson. That being said I'd be very suprised if he won. This is the only selection I've seen from this category so far (hopefully this will change by the close of the weekend), but as far as I can tell this is going to be a two man race: Leo and Forest. Advantage: Forest.

Best Actress in a Leading Role:
I've seen none of these movies. But Helen Mirren owns this category.

Best Supporting Actor:
I've seen two of the five, so here's something I can speak to with some cred. This is a good race in this category, but I'd love Mark Wahlberg to win. I think the Departed was a fantastic movie, a real actor's movie, and that Martin elicited the performances of a lifetime out of all of them. But Mark Wahlberg stole the show- he outshone Leo and Matt, and even Jack, and who outshines Jack? Chances are, he won't win. I'm favoring either Eddie Murphy or Alan Arkin, the jury's still out.

Best Supporting Actress:
Usually this category favors more independent features, but I think everyone is gearing up for Jennifer Hudson to win. Haven't seen Dreamgirls so I don't know what I think about that yet.

Best Director:
When is Clint Eastwood NOT nominated? He's good, yes, but frankly the Academy is obsessed. Why is United 93 on this list? This is crazy talk. I need to see Babel before I can hazard a guess here.

Best Original Screenplay:
I want Little Miss Sunshine to win this, it was fantastic, very unique, and very smart!!

Best Adapted Screenplay:
Notes on a Scandal, I hope.

Best Motion Picture:
Again, I haven't seen Babel, so it's hard to say. Maybe something could be said of the fact that I haven't actually really been wanting to see Babel, the trailers never really enticed me. Regardless, I think Marty deserves to take this one home for Best Motion Picture. He's earned it!

For a list of the complete nominations, please click here.

Big Week in Global Warming

Proponents for cutting greenhouse gases are getting support this week from some very unlikely candidates: Exxon-Mobile and the Bush Administration! Looks like Gore and the scientific community weren't so out in left field afterall. Welcome to reality! Is it too naive of me to hope that the same Administration that pulled us out of Kyoto in favor of voluntary and self-regulating emissions controls from the industry itself (and we all know how well that has worked out), and the same company that has basically made its official global warming initiative the funding of PACs that contest it even exists- it is too much to hope that they might actually not only see the light but actually DO SOMETHING GOOD?!

MSNBC is reporting that a bi-partisan bill is being introduced in Congress today which aims to cut carbon emissions. I would imagine that the anticipation surrounding the introduction of this bill has played some role in Bush's decision to admit for the first time ever this week that yes, global warming does exist, and that yes, humans are implicated. Similarly, I wouldn't be suprised if Exxon's statement that it has stopped funding groups skeptical of global warming wasn't spurred by hopes of avoiding being targeted as the "big bad" in the industry.

Of course, as Andrew Logan, a climate expert at Ceres says in the above-linked MSNBC article, "The devil is in the details".

More! More! More!

This week seems to find me without much spare time or energy to post anything really notable, creative, or relevant. This is a little disheartening to me as the news this week has been especially ripe fodder. However, in an effort to still post something, please find below the eloquent lyrics to the masterpiece that is "Rebel Yell"~

Rebel Yell
by Billy Idol


Last night a little dancer came dancin' to my door
Last night a little angel Came pumpin cross my floor
She said "Come on baby I got a licence for love
And if it expires pray help from above"

In the midnight hour she cried- "more, more, more"
With a rebel yell she cried- "more, more, more"
In the midniight hour babe- "more, more, more"
With a rebel yell- "more, more, more"
More, more, more.

She don't like slavery, she won't sit and beg
But when I'm tired and lonely she sees me to bed
What set you free and brought you to be me babe
What set you free I need you hear by me

Because

In the midnight hour she cried- "more, more, more"
With a rebel yell she cried- "more, more, more"
In the midniight hour babe- "more, more, more"
With a rebel yell- "more, more, more"

He lives in his own heaven
Collects it to go from the seven eleven
Well he's out all night to collect a fare
Just so long, just so long it don't mess up his hair.
I walked the ward with you, babe
A thousand miles with you
I dried your tears of pain, babe
A million times for you
I'd sell my soul for you babe
For money to burn with you
I'd give you all, and have none, babe
Just, just, justa, justa to have you here by me

Because

In the midnight hour she cried- "more, more, more"
With a rebel yell she cried- "more, more, more"
In the midniight hour babe- "more, more, more"
With a rebel yell she cried "more, more, more"
More, more, more.
Oh yeah little baby
she want more
More, more, more, more, more.
Oh yeah little baby
she want more
More, more, more, more.

Paris fired from Club Paris?!?

Looks like I made it just in time. It is being reported today here that Club Paris has fired Paris! Apparently, the owner wants to keep the name, just not the affiliation. Henceforth to be Club Paris (as in France), not Club Paris (as in Hilton). This is probably not such a bad idea, speaking from experience. As it turns out, I happened to find myself at the original Club Paris last week, and even considering the 4 for 1 drink specials, the club was pretty beat. The space itself was absolutely breathtaking and very unique, which makes the fact that the club is clearly a dud all the more befuddling. Club Paris is an exercise in irony. How could it have failed? It has a great location in downtown Orlando in a historical mansion, a fun theme, it's heavily decorated with life-sized photographs and mirror etchings of Paris in a bikini and/ or on a swing, offers good drink specials, and has a fantastic rococo-meets-alice-in-wonderland venue. The formula was perfect, and yet.... Well, I guess now at least I can say that I went there when, and I have the pink matchbook to prove it.

Happy New Year! This Just In- 2007 Is Heaven!

I can't take the credit for the term, but what I can do is share the sentiment- 2007 is Heaven. Even if you had any lingering concerns, now you've read it on the internet, and everyone knows that everything you read on the internet is true.

2007 is Heaven. Or if you prefer, 2007 is the year of sparkles and dreams. Whichever you prefer, embrace it; it's yours.